FYI: Economic Models :)

February 19th, 2007 by retha-hore

Some funny ways to explain ecomomic model in our world!

Pay more attention on the underlined statements,, esp. for those who’ve been procterized well :))

Economic Models explained with cows

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

SHINAWATRA VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy….

A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

–A tribute to my Thai colleague,, Tarruthai Thamvongsin–

PC Philosophy..

February 18th, 2007 by retha-hore

Once upon a time,, far far away,, there were two bessies spending their time together..

A cow and a pig..

The pig said mournfully to the cow,,

"How pathethic and sad my life would be.. Nobody really loves me.. Those human beings only love me for my body since it would be delicious to be baconized,, they love my feet so they could chop it and make a plate of tasty soup,, they love my nose since it also would taste good,, ..

And now look at you.. A beautiful cow with one pair of beautiful sparkling eyes.. Always looks smart and tender,, Evrybody seems to love you.."

That cow took a good look at her bestie.. And after that replies,,

" First of all, that was God’s mistake to have you in this place.. You have to be baptized first,, maybe it will change your destiny :)

But have you think about some of these thoughts before..

Those human beings squeeze my stuffs every morning so they can have a glass of milk daily and stay healthy..They manage my dirts so they can fertilize their soils and harvest them on time,,

They also can have me as beef, sausage, meatballs or anything that tastes delicious..

You give your best after you passed away,,,

I already start giving my best while I’m still alive,,,"

-Start giving your best to others-Bowing_pig

May God bless you for another year ahead..

Gong Xi Fat Choi :)

Warnin Sign CP.. Lookin forward for my future..

September 14th, 2006 by retha-hore

Sometimes I’m surprised to find I have already posted particular lyrics here. Other times, I’m surprised by which lyrics I haven’t already posted.

A warning sign..

I missed the good part, and I realized..

I started looking, and the bubble burst..

I started looking for excuses.

Come on in.. I’ve got to tell you what a state I’m in. I’ve got to tell you in my loudest tones that I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is… I miss you.
Yeah the truth is… that I miss you so.

A warning sign.. It came back to haunt me, and I realized that you were an island and I passed you by… and you were an island to discover.

Come on in.. I’ve got to tell you what a state I’m in.
I’ve got to tell you in my loudest tones, that I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is… I miss you.
Yeah the truth is… that I miss you so.
And I’m tired.
I should not have let you go.

So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.

Petualangan 2: GRAMEDOI

June 23rd, 2006 by retha-hore

June = month of changes!!

Too many things happened.. eh salah ketang..

Not just happened, but changed..

Mulai dari kosan…

Hengkangnya si bulat ‘the womanizer’ cuman gara2 masalah aer dan bapak yg dendaman.. Trus Aris yg pindah ke baturaja…

Biasanya pola parkir adalah 4-1-1-2..

Sekarang lah berobah jadi 4-1-1-0 saja..

Malah lebih sering berpola 4-0-0-0..

Berkuranglah anggota d’jumalis..

Mungkin gw tipe org yg ‘mengaku’ menikmati perubahan, tapi bingung untuk how to deal with ‘the first moment of change’..

(Sorry guys, it’s not FMOT although I’m CBD Field… Kekekekeke)

Berlanjut dengan hilangnya buah cinta pertama antara aku dan pekerjaanku..

(beuh istilah lo rett..)

Hilangnya di toko buku pula..

Bah!!

Mana ada maling beroperasi di toko buku.. (huhuhu.. so naive)

Ga ada lagi deh alarm bangun pagi dari Chris Martin yg bersenandung

" So I look in your direction.. but you pay me no attention.. d you??"

Ga ada lagi deh mesej alert suling Sunda yg membuat gw jadi tersangka berstatus CBD yg pengen pindah distrik..

Ga ada lagi See U Soon, In My Place dan Say It Once..

Ga ada lagi proses cucuk mencucuk untuk ngirim pesan baru..

It’s not the phone that counts, but the memories inside!!

Gw pikir jodoh gw dengan 3310 maha udzur itu akan lama..

Jadi ketawa sendiri kalo inget itu hp yg nemenin sepanjang perjalanan TA dan apply kerjaan gw..

Dari nungguin telpon Bu Luci, telpon Susi PG..

Halah banyakkkk…

tapi perubahan toh bagian dari hidup kan??

kuatir apa lo soal idup??

Berbahagialah nak!!

Coz u’r still breathing enivei…

Masi punya banyak teman dan kawan pula..

Geblekk..

Mulai dari kompi TA yg tak terlupakan dengan segala bantuannya

(Komeng, Stella, Vetri, Anin, Anik, Mimi, Ardi,, banyakkkk!!!)

Sampe kompi Telkomsel yg niat bgt menelusuri jejak sang maling HP

(Corin, Agung, Ari, Mba Nur, Leo.. all Grapari staff and Telkomsel-ers)

Hehehehehe..

Percayalah..

Retha akan bertambah kuat!!!

(Loh.. apa seh thaaaa…)

Petualangan 1: Pasar oh pasar

May 9th, 2006 by retha-hore

Hualauuu…!!!

hhhh akhirnyaaaa….

Nyampahhh…

Yes, it’s been a while since my last posting..

Fiuhhh…

Ga terasa bgt dah 3 bulan lebih gw di Palembo..

Bumi Sriwijayo…

Dimano apo apo akhirannyo pake hurup O…

Set dahhh…

Menjelajah dari satu pasar ke pasar yg laen..

Sempet bosen…

Abis makanan yang ada cuman Padang dan Padang dan Padang dan Padang…

Gile ye..

Gw rasa rendang tuh harus jadi simbol makanan nasional…

Kalo orang Indo ikut lomba masak internasional, masakan andalannya adalah rendang…

Sekarang gw dah dapet rute pasar baru..

Rute wholesaler alias grosir..

Dimana koko koko dan cece cece semakin jumawa terhadap para salesman..

Tapi overall nih rute lebi seru dari rute small pasar sebelumnya…

Kebayang tadi gw baru liat orang gila makan dari tong sampah…

Monyet anjing kucing dan kelinci seliweran…

Cece yang ngamuk ampe mukanya merah kaya buah persik…

Sampe shampoo VS Sasoon Banded keluaran Hongkong dijual di pasar buah…

Hueheheheheh.. Fabulous!!!

Di akhir hari sebelum gw bikin ini tulisan gw menyadari..

Gile ya manusia..

Segitunya buat bertahan di dalam yg namanya kehidupan…

(Weisss ternyata ini tulisan bisa ada sesi seriusnya juga..)

Dan salah satu hal yg menuntut manusia untuk bertahan lebih kuat adalah..

uang.. uang..uang dan uang..

Dan mungkin (ini mungkin) untuk pertama kalinya dalam idup gw, gw melakukan yg namanya bersukur…

Bersukur ga perlu ampe keluar urat buat nyari duit macam kuli2 angkut beras..

Bersukur masi bisa milih bentuk makanan apa yg mesti masuk ke perut gw walopun pada akhirnya outputnya sama dengan yg dimakan itu orang gila…

Bersukur gw masi bisa ketawa saat nawarin Total White Extra sama cece toko yg lagi marah marah..

Hehehehehe

End of story :))

A letter to Cumi.. Not Elise

November 19th, 2005 by retha-hore

Surat untuk cumi…

Cum,
Yang tau kita adalah TEMAN
Yang tau dan kenal kita adalah TEMAN DEKAT
Yang tau, kenal dan mengerti kita adalah TEMAN HIDUP
Yang tau, kenal, mengerti dan  menerima kita adalah KELUARGA

Cum,
mengerti itu ada batasnya
tapi menerima ga pernah ada batasnya..
Makanya dengan teman hidup kita bikin yang namanya keluarga…
Jadi ga usah lagi berandai andai…
Berhenti  ber- ‘what if.. what if’ -ria…
Terima aja…

Cum,
gw baru mule belajar satu hal..
Apapun yang terjadi dalam idup lo, yakin deh..
There’ll always be lights that will guide you home…

Kalo ada apa-apa langsung crita aja ya…
I’m all ears…Butterflie
Ehehehehehe…

-Flying Sapi-

Cerita 25: SIDAK 8 Oktober 2005

October 9th, 2005 by retha-hore

MAMI SIDAK!!!

Mengagetkannnn…

Ada angin apa coba si mami dateng malem-malem ke kosan…

Feeling seorang ibu kali ya…

Anaknya ga beres mental dan psikologi di Bandung Raya Indah,

efeknya nyetrum ke Jakarta…

Diceramahin semaleman…

Soal belajar sabar…

Soal belajar bersyukur (Huehhh lagi-lagi topik yang sama…)

Soal perasaan…

Soal belajar menjaga hati sendiri…

Soal hati-hati…

Hueeee….

Sayang mami…

Cerita 24: Teman Pilihan???

October 7th, 2005 by retha-hore

Status baru: JOBSEEKER…

Kmaren tuh abis ngobrol ‘aga’ lamaaa dengan adik seperguruanku di Institut Tjap Gadjah Doedoek Nan Permai ini…

Biasalah…

Gw gitu loh…

kalo ga nyampah kayanya ga berasa idup….

Uhuhuhuuhhuhuhuhu…

Gw juga heran ya…

Apa manusia itu (gw tepatnya) punya tujuan apa ya dengan berkeluh kesah, menceritakan kesusahan dan kegelisahan hati…

Nyari simpati??? Hueeekkk… Ogah benget…

Simpati ===>>> minta dikasihani

Ngga banget dah…

Ato cuman sekedar cerita, tanpa dapet masukan apa-apa???

Ko useless banget ya…

Hari gini ngelakuin sesuatu tanpa dapet apa-apa???

Ckckckckckckckckck…

Tapi gw jadi dapet pemikiran baru dari hasil cetingan kemaren..

"Bertemen juga kudu pinter milih-milih"…

Begini cerita singkatnya…

Adikku: Brapa perusahaan yang masih jalan???

Aku: Lima-an lah… Cape… Ko ga tembus-tembus ya???

Adikku: Lu juga sih masukin ke yg standarnya tinggi-tinggi… Reth.. lu jangan pernah nyamain diri lu sama Amir (bukan nama sebenarnya) ato Zaky (bukan nama sebenarnya juga) 

Aku: Iya sih… Gw sadar dan tau diri ko… Ga mungkinlah gw jadi kaya mereka.. Tapi masa iya sih gw pengen jadi kaya mereka juga ga boleh??? Boleh kan gw tetep punya mimpi???

Adikku: Boleh.. Tapi ya lu liat elunya juga..

Dari pembicaraan singkat itu gw pun mulai mikir…

Iya juga ya…

Kali karena gw terbiasa berada di antara manusia-manusia super diatas gw juga pengen ikutan super…

Kali karena gw terbiasa berada di lingkungan yang lengkap dan berbonus ganda.. (Lengkap dan berbonus ganda:

Manusia normal dengan bonus

otak pintar,

tampang cantik/ganteng,

kepribadian menarik,

keluarga tajir,

latar belakang baik,

dan relasi yang bejibun!!!)

Coba gw berada di lingkungan dengan orang-orang yang biasa ato kuliah di tempat yang "entah dimana" (maap ga maksud menyinggung pihak manapun)… Kali aja ambisi dan mimpi gw juga berada pada level " entah dimana"…

Cuman sekarang nasi sudah menjadi tenaga

(Heran deh peribahasa nasi sudah menjadi bubur… Beras kali yang jadi bubur!!!)…

Mo dikemanain dong mimpi dan ambisi gw???

Terus mesti digimanain dong temen dan lingkungan gw yang sedikit banyak ikut memepengaruhi gw jadi kaya gini???

Hueehhhh… Bingung… (Jongkok!!!)

Cerita 23: Simply Complicated

September 29th, 2005 by retha-hore

Tes, Group Discussion, Interview…

Tes, Group Discussion, Interview…

Tes, Group Discussion, Interview…

Ini mungkin bisa dibilang siklus hidup gw yang terbaru…

Memotivasi diri sendiri, Kecewa sedikit, Berharap Sangat, Jatuh Mental…

Memotivasi diri sendiri (lagi), Kecewa sedikit, Berharap Sangat, Jatuh Mental…

Memotivasi diri sendiri (lagi), Kecewa sedikit, Berharap Sangat, Jatuh Mental…

Ini mungkin bisa dibilang roda perasaan yang gw punya belakangan ini…

Apakah gw sudah menjadi seorang DESPERATE JOBSEEKER???

Hope not..

Sampai saat ini yang gw punya cuman spirit..

Spirit buat bertahan…

Spirit buat bangun setelah jatuh…

Spirit buat berharap setelah merasa ga bisa apa-apalagi…

Spirit buat yakin bahwa pasti ada tempat dan lingkungan buat gw, walopun gw ga tau kapan ketemunya..

Until today, I’ve been through 3 recruitments..

Gw juga heran, napa ya gw jadi pengen bermandi minyak di Duri ato di Balikpapan sana…

Salah satu bentuk autisme kah??

Mengisolasi diri…

Salah satu bentuk upaya lari dari masalahkah??

Mencoba berada pada lingkungan dan obyek yang sama sekali baru…

Salah satu bentuk shortcut berduit banyak dan famous-kah??

Minyak gitu loh…

Atau benar-benar salah satu pilihan Lifestyle yang gw inginkan??

Hahahahahahahahaha…

Ga tau…

Gw bukan tipe orang yang cepat bersyukur…

Yang ga bisa dengan enteng bilang…

Lulus tahap tes dan gagal di group discussion.. Syukur…

Lulus ampe interview.. Syukur…

Yang penting belajar…

Sorry..!!!

Tapi gw bukan tipe orang yang berjiwa "pembelajar" seperti itu…

Kegagalan tetaplah sebuah kegagalan…

Dan adalah sebuah kebodohan untuk mengulangi kegagalan yang sama…

Proses penting, tapi yang dirasakan efeknya itu hasil akhir bukan???

Yang namanya belajar itu menjadikan sesuatu lebih baik…

Bukannya belajar berbangga hati telah sampai tahapan yang agak jauh untuk akhirnya gagal lagi…

So please stop talking bullshit

and giving those wise words about failure!!!

Fiuuhhh…

Ya ampun Tuhan…

Gw capek…

Cerita 22: Dut gudat gadut

September 28th, 2005 by retha-hore

Dari group discussion ke group discussion…
Dari interview ke interview..
Baru 3 biji aja gw dah cape…
Gog help me…
I’m drownin…